Confessions of an unwriter

I’ll confess I’m a bit of a writer-fraud. I give off all the impressions to my friends and family of being an aspiring writer but it’s just a clever guise. 

There are other things I should confess too while I’m at it…

  • I won’t throw my old diaries in the bin even though I’m terrified to have them in the house in case someone reads them. I’m worried someone will find the diaries and read them. My plan is to shred them and then burn the shreds. And then bury the ashes.
  • I have (what I believe are) genius ideas for a book and start a new notebook for each one. By the time I’ve plotted out a few characters, some scenes and a rough direction for the story to go in I’ve already come to the conclusion that I don’t have the skill to tell the story and literally shelve the idea. (I need to ask my husband to hang more shelves while I think about it.)
  • Often when I come back to a story I have started I shudder at the amateurishness of my writing and play Pokemon Blue* on my phone** instead. Once my fragile ego has recovered my tiny window for writing time will have long gone.
  • I tell my husband I have done lots of writing today when really all I have done is outline a story I will never write because I have no idea how to write a space battle scene.
  • I download way more books on my Kindle than I will ever read because I get carried away “researching” my new genre that week.
  • My best story ideas are actually my husband’s. It’s OK, he knows I’ve used them.
  • I still subscribe to Writing Magazine even though the last two issues are still in their cellophane wrapping.
  • I have no idea what my genre is even though I’ve been writing since Primary School. I just kind of dabble wherever the mood takes me. Except crime. (The genre not the past-time.)
  • I have a weakness for notebooks. I have so many of them that I start writing in and never fill and yet whenever I’m out shopping I still feel the urge to buy one if I see one. Also pens. The key is variety. Why is it pens you ‘acquire’ from someone else are always nicer to write with?
  • Also I steal pens. All the time. Sorry everyone I know I can’t help myself.

       

      * The game is interchangeable

      ** So is the device on which it is played. I love technology

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